The day I accepted myself at my current weight was when I started to achieve my ideal weight. This might sound surprising, but it's true. I was 21 years old when I stumbled upon a book titled "Why You Really Don't Want to Lose Weight". Reading through the book was a life-changing experience for me. It contained exercises that helped me accept my weight and understand my uncontrollable urge to eat. After practicing weight acceptance, I found that achieving my ideal weight became easy and effortless.  

The reason why you are unable to achieve your desired weight might be hidden deep within your psyche.  

1)    Survival  

Eating for reasons other than nourishment is a coping mechanism that helps you deal with emotional turmoil.  


2)    Scarcity  

Your body has a memory of times when you didn't have enough food to eat, which might go back to your childhood or even past lives. When you eat food that is deficient in enzymes or nutrition, your body feels starved. This triggers your body to store energy-rich fat, as it prepares for future food scarcity.  


3)    Defence and Control  

Excess weight can serve as a defence mechanism for those who have experienced bullying, abuse, or feel unsafe. Fat cells act as a cushion or bubble wrap, providing a physical barrier between you and the world. It maintains a physical distance from heartbreak or intimacy, keeping people at bay. It also serves as a barrier against sexual advances and violation.  

For those who are highly sensitive or empathic, excel weight protects you from energy vampires and those who make you feel vulnerable, drained, or off-balance.  

At times, excess weight may be a way to punish or prove that you are unlovable. It often accumulates around the abdomen/solar plexus area.  

It can also be a form of rebellion against the control and dominance of parents, employers, bosses, partners, and friends. In this way, controlling food becomes a way to assert control over one's life.  


4)    Emotional Starvation  

Have you ever felt like you were lacking something crucial in your life? It could be love, belonging, affection, acceptance, nurturing, safety, fulfillment, excitement, growth, and so on.  

Sometimes, we use food as an emotional treat to comfort ourselves when we are hurt. This behaviour might have started when we were young, and a caregiver would give us sweets to stop us from crying or to distract us from emotional pain. Over time, we learn to distract ourselves from our feelings with food and suppress our emotions.  

When we lack healthy boundaries, we tend to be overly generous, and nurturing and have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility towards others. We might even be rescuers, putting others before ourselves and neglecting our own needs. This can make it difficult for us to ask others for what we need, including our emotional needs. This behaviour can also manifest as thyroid malfunctions, lupus, and autoimmune diseases.


5)    Overly Nurturing  

When we support others with empathy and nurturing, we absorb their emotional debris, which can result in excess weight proportional to the emotional and energetic burden we carry.  


6)    Spiritual Starvation  

If you don't follow your heart, you may experience spiritual starvation. Have you stopped doing things that make you happy? Are you just going through the motions? Do you feel unfulfilled and aimless? Do you crave something intangible?  

People sometimes turn to food as an emotional substitute for the joy, excitement, fulfillment, and purpose they're missing in their lives.  


7)    Lack of Nurturing  

Fat cells play a crucial role in regulating the body's temperature. They act as an insulating layer, helping you maintain an optimal body temperature. Moreover, fat stores energy, which can be used by the body in times of need. Therefore, fat cells act as a source of nourishment and support for the body, telling it that it loves and cares for it.  


8)    Nursing Old Hurts  

Do you find yourself constantly burdened by emotional baggage from the past? Are you experiencing health issues related to water retention and a sluggish lymphatic system? These symptoms may be signs that your body is not effectively releasing toxins, which can be detrimental to your overall well-being.

Shirley Filipe

Shirley Filipe

Hypnotherapist Practitioner

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